Choice of Mediator

Last week a fellow family law attorney referred a couple to me for mediation. Except that I never got to speak to either of them: "she" did not want a male mediator. I have not written about gender and choice of counsel / mediator on my website www.legalsolutionsllc.net but perhaps now would be the time to do so.

In Court, there is the perception of choice of counsel affording the party an advantage. Perhaps in front of a few select judges this may be the case: certain Judges are relatively notorious in this way ... but you have to pick counsel before you get assigned your Judge, so this can easily backfire as a strategy. Equally, I have heard of men picking women and women picking men "to show that they are not against the other sex and are fair minded." Women pick women and men pick men to fulfill the need to be better understood ....

I would much rather have someone pick a lawyer based on their personal stylistic "fit" and perceived competency. I just don't think that picking a given gender gives you any advantage at all. Most of the family law attorneys that I know are excellent lawyers and will be zealous advocates for their clients irrespective of the client's gender or their own gender. LGTB clients may prefer to engage an attorney particularly versed in LGTB issues, "someone like us," but it would be a mistake to think that only people in that community can represent that community competently or have the client's best interests at heart.

I have written about what I believe to be the problem of family law attorneys preferring to litigate as opposed to mediate http://www.legalsolutionsllc.net/Articles/Inherent-Conflict-A-Case-for-Mediation.shtml, but what I am attempting to address is gender-based selection as a sole criterion. It is just silly.   The person who rejects a mediator of a particular gender can always hire a co-mediator of the same gender "to balance the equation." In practice, however, a good mediator is not only story-neutral, but completely gender-neutral too. No matter what the story, it is likely that an experienced mediator has "been there" before. I am comforted in knowing the female mediator the couple chose is an excellent mediator and very competent attorney -- a true neutral.